Panty Shopping.
Thank you so much for all of your kind words. Diane was one great lady. I know she would appreciate her memory being honored, and then she would tell me to move on with the par-tay, so here we go...
I took The Boy (who is 7) to a retail establishment the other day to purchase apparel for myself. He is a pretty easy kid and as long as it isn't too time-consuming, he can deal with me looking at stuff and even trying on a few things.. (while he waits outside where I can see his feet and he keeps talking.)
I don't have a problem with him being in the dressing room. Lately, he has decided he doesn't want to hang out with me in there. A little sad. Sigh.
Anyway, this particular proprietor sells both clothing and underwear...dare I say lingerie?
So, I am in need of some basic cotton, which I begin to pile up and something bright, lacy and purple catches my eye... must have it.
Get it all together and take to the counter and the lady is ringing us up.
Imagine 10 pairs of black cotton briefs, 5 wildly colored cotton in everything from hipster to thong. And 2 lacy bra and panty sets. Got it? Okay.
Cashier: "You are so lucky. My son would never hang out with me while I went panty shopping."
Me: "I am lucky." (I beam and pat his head, which I swear is like up to my shoulder, when did he become a giant?)
The Boy: (snapping out of some kind of daydream) "Wait. Is all of this underwear for YOU? (His tone is riddled with shock and disgust.)
Me: "Um, yeah. Who did you think it was for?"
He can't answer, as he is to busy making gagging sounds and rolling his eyes.
The Cashier: Giggling.
Me: (shifting uncomfortably) "Well, I guess he can send me that therapy bill in about 15 years."
The Cashier: Hysterical fit of laughter.
Me: (to myself) "Yeah. Real Funny. Don't you have something to fold?"
© 2008 The R Family Diaries. All Rights Reserved
Comments
Wait, you said a thong? Hmmmm (gagging noises), I hate how they go up my butt.
Hysterical, just too freaking funny!
Too funny!
My 7 yr old still hangs out with me while I shop as long as he can get a candy or gum.
Oh, and he won't need therapy until he sees your purple, lacy thong caught on the ceiling fan in your bedroom. Ha!
I do the 'Just stay where I can see your feet' thing as well and the 'You better get back here because I can't see your feet or I'm going to have to come out there and I'm only half dressed!!!'
Which usually causes muffled laughter from the other Mums and Grandmas in the dressing rooms.
Last time Taylor decided to hide from me in the middle of a clothes rack, she told me, after I'd stopped to take a breath while yelling at her. 'But Nana, my feet were showing!!'
'Wonder what HE was daydreaming about...'
Gagging sounds?
Our precious angels, right?
"Me: (to myself) "Yeah. Real Funny. Don't you have something to fold?"
hahah still laughing!
Hugs Giggles
Blessings!
Hysterical post:)
We used to go shopping like every 3 or 4 days I swear it was good times.
Anyway we were in one of those jewelry stores that sells the cheap stuff like (Clair's or Icing) anyway my son is just tagging along dragging his feet behind us.
The store was pretty packed they were having some kind of sale.
My son grabs his stomach like it hurts & he's gonna throw up.
I ask him if he's ok & he says to me no.
I ask what's wrong & he says
"I Think I have Mall Sickness"
The entire store erupted in laughter.
Well I don't drag him shopping anymore which makes him happy.
Invest in a journal that YOU really like. One for journal for each child. Also purchase some fancy pants pens that feel good in your hand.
Whenever your child has gone through something you think may be potentially scarring such as the panty shopping incidient or the escapade where he commented about your wasting time and your adorable response ... Well record it in the journal. In detail.
Later, when he does (and he will, they all do) end up in counseling give a copy of the journal to his thereapist.
It will shave time off the shrink bill AND be a small insurance policy for yourself against any repressed memories that may surface.
Any witness to the evidence, have them date and sign it, too.
Am I kidding, partially? Will it work? Totally.
Who did he think it was for, anyway?? Maybe you should have told him the cotton ones were yours - and the lacy numbers were for dad....
Too funny! My kids go in if I try things on, too - stay outside the door & talk - just keep talking.